I woke the other day with a powerful thought. After having a massive breakdown the night before, it was a welcomed experience.
Over the course of several weeks I’ve been wandering around as something was not right… my life was not right.
It doesn’t occur often but when it does , it’s numbing. Definite head trip for sure.
The night of my “breakdown” I got to a place where I resigned. I finally for the first time, I think, accepted all that was in my life.
I had surrendered and accepted what my life had become – the good, the bad, and the ugly. There’s something soothing about accepting what’s so.
Yes it was coming from a place of resignation, but it felt good nonetheless. I had spent all of my life trying desperately not to accept what’s so – always wanting to be somewhere else. Wanting more money, a better business, a nicer house, to travel more. (All this wanting has been exhausting.)
Striving. Reaching. Full steam ahead.
Nothing wrong with wanting more. It’s natural … it’s nature. But does wanting more for your life mean having to constantly climb this exhaustive never-ending hill? With all this constant pushing, struggling, and going against the grain, you come to wonder if you’ve been wrong all along.
Is it all really worth it? There has to be a better way for sure!
A month ago I began reading a book called ‘How to Completely Change Your Life in 30 Seconds’ based on the works of Earl Nightingale. Great book by the way! I highly suggest it.
At a certain point in the book, Earl Nightingale suggested you write down a few important, yet specific goals. Nothing new right? I have a stack of cards spread throughout my home with goal cards. I’ve taught on the concept of SMART goals for goodness’ sake. This was going to be an easy exercise.
Or so I thought …
So I dusted off my journal (Which I haven’t written in over a month!), opened up to a clean page and thought hard about the top three goals I wanted to achieve. I knew getting a hold of my finances and achieving financial freedom was on the top of the list of goals I’d like to achieve, so I wrote down two goals – one centered around being debt-free and the other centered around my desired yearly net income by the year 2020.
However, health also has been an increasing priority in my life and therefore I decided to create a goal around that area as well. But here’s the deal. In the past, I’ve created health goals and if I achieved them they were short lived. Ultimately I’d end up back where I started … Very frustrating!
How would this health goal be different from every other one I created? I knew I needed to do some radical, out-of-the-box, thinking this time around. Out of nowhere – as if by divine intervention – Ironman popped into my head … NO, not the movie! The Ironman races – one of the most physically and mentally grueling triathlons you can participate in.
Yup! That one!!
I had no idea of what the Ironman entailed in terms of physical, monetary, and time commitment. But needless to say, I wrote down in my notebook,
Participate in the Ironman 2016
Fair enough. I had two years to train for this “Ironman thingy.” I immediately (and impulsively) got onto Facebook and shouted out loud for the whole world to hear, that I was going to do Ironman 2016 … “Who’s with me?”
The response was not completely what I expected, LOL. I had a couple, “YES. I’m in.” But mostly got, “I’m not that crazy?!” An hour later, my dear friend proceeded to text me:
2.4 mile swim, 112 mile bike and 26.2mile run inspired?!
After the initial shock and horror, I proceeded to crack up uncontrollably. Talk about making a decision without knowing all the facts. But nonetheless, I made a decision and had every intention on sticking with it.
Well, let me just say that it’s been nearly a month since that day and to my own surprise, I’m still forging ahead with this crazy idea. It’s been a challenge since day one, mentally and physically, but I haven’t given up on my new-found dream of becoming a Iron(wo)man.
But in the past month, as I struggle to push my body just a little harder than the day before and fight with my internal conversations of “Just give up and go back to bed. Nobody would blame you for it,” I remind myself of what this would mean for me and the promise that I’ve made to myself.
I’m also reminded of how many times I had thrown in the towel and how those choices have impacted my life. But mostly in a very short time, I’ve learned three very powerful lessons that I’m taking into my training, my business and my life in general.
And so here they are:
Today’s phrase: Don’t let your outside world dictate your inside world.
What do I mean?
For many of us, we allow our outside circumstances to dictate how we feel inside and who we are Being.
For example, say you’re in a situation where you are struggling financially – credit card debt, not being able to pay your bills etc. So basically you are having a lot of financial stress and worry in your life … And rightfully so.
The only thing we can truly control is who we are Being and how we choose to feel inside regardless of what’s happening in our outside circumstances. So regardless of whether or not we have the income to pay our bills, or challenges in our relationships, or whatever challenges we are facing, we have a choice of how we choose to feel and BE in the world.
I love women. Don’t get me wrong I love men too. 😉 But something about getting like-minded women together — networking, sharing, being a stand for each other’s greatness — is so inspiring.
I’m currently an active member in several groups that either consist of all women or are women dominated and there’s nothing like it. We’re just fierce creatures who are committed to not only growing our business but truly being of service to others.
I think it’s just in our genetic makeup…
It’s no wonder when my friend and co-conspirator to changing the world one woman at a time, asked me to become an Ambassador to her business, 7 Pretty Women, that I said a resounding, YES!
What inspired me quite frankly after having an hour conversation on the phone with her (Which I initially intended to be 10 minutes!), was we shared the same mission … And that is to educate and inspire women around the world to live their best life.
It was clear to me she was up to something big and I wanted to be a part of it. Partly to support her. But also partly because I knew that by just the mere act of engrossing myself amongst this community, that I would be empowered and pulled up to new heights in my life and business.
So. How can you be a part of this community of amazing, like-minded individuals? Simple. Come and join us on October 3rd in New York for the S.M.A.R.T. Women: The Ultimate Business Empowerment Conference.
Here’s what you can expect to learn:
- Using social media to gain attention
- How to pitch the media
- PR Do’s and Don’ts
- Power tips to increase online visibility
- Website best practices
- What online marketing can do for your business
- How to get the edge in your life and business
- And more!
Where do I start? I just got off the phone with someone who went on and on about all the things she had to DO! By the end of it, my head was spinning and I was rummaging through my cabinets searching for the bottle of Jack Daniels.
I get it. Really! I often fall into my automatic way of being and thinking that it all lies on how fast I can tackle my to-do list. The end result is exhaustion and feeling like little was accomplished.
Why is that you say? Because your to-do list does not contain the things that fill your Spirit with fulfillment. It’s just the way your mind thinks that in order to get to point B you have to perform tasks x,y, and z.
And let me be clear, there’s nothing wrong with having a to-do list. It’s just that we focus so much of our time and energy on working off our to-do list that we forget our to-Be list.
I don’t know about you but I’m an avid reader. I can literally go through a book a week … Even done a book in a day! So I guess you can conclude that I’ve read LOTS of books in my lifetime.
And although they’ve all served a purpose – whether it be entertainment, education, or inspiration – there are some that have stood out as books that have transformed my life in one shape or form. So be sure to print this one out, and get to reading!
- Psycho-Cybernetics by Maxwell Maltz
- The Slight Edge by Jeff Olson
- A Return to Love by Marianne Williamson
- The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change by Stephen R. Covey
- The Biology of Belief by Bruce H. Lipton
- The Law of Success by Napolean Hill
- Think and Grow Rich by Napolean Hill
- As a Man Thinketh by James Allen
- Outliers: The Story of Success by Malcolm Gladwell
- The Science of Getting Rich by Wallace D. Wattles
- 5 Steps to a Quantum Life by Natalie Reid
- The Compound Effect by Darren Hardy
- Duct Tape Marketing: The World’s Most Practical Small Business Marketing Guide by John Jantsch
- Crush It!: Why NOW Is the Time to Cash In on Your Passion by Gary Vaynerchuk
- Do the Work by Steven Pressfield
- The War of Art by Steven Pressfield
- The Soul of Money by Lynne Twist
- A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose by Eckhart Tolle
- The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle
- The Millionaire Messenger by Brendon Burchard
- Put Your Heart on Paper by Henriette Anne Klauser
- EntreLeadership: 20 Years of Practical Business Wisdom from the Trenches by Dave Ramsey
- 10.10.10 by Suzy Welch
- Purple Cow by Seth Godin
- Linchpin: Are You Indispensable? by Seth Godin Continue reading
Once upon a time there lived a young lady named Jessie. She grew up, by all means, living what she thought to be a “normal” life. Hardships occasionally crossed her path but for the most part her life was pretty uneventful.
She was a “good” girl (as good girls go) and she played by the rules; the rules her parents, teachers, and other “authority” figures made for her.
Jessie grew up thinking life happens and you just have to deal with what comes. Sure she had dreams and semi-plans that seemed to changed regularly as circumstances in her life changed. Hmm…
She took what was told to her in good faith. Why wouldn’t she? Adults knew better then her right?
Jessie grew up into a young independent woman, in search for her hearts’ desire. Yet what continued to come up was conformity – settling for a job that paid well yet didn’t fulfill her, setting for relationships that came her way, settling for living a life that was less than what she wanted just because that was the luck of the draw.
One day Jessie had a thought, “There must be a better way?” How is it that she had so many hopes, dreams, and desires, and what continued to show up in her life was disillusionment, heart breaks, and resignation.
She was doing the work … “Paying her dues.” Or so she thought …
See what Jessie had all her life did was confuse “doing the work” with success. She thought if she worked hard enough success as she imagined it with naturally follow. Fair enough right?
Here was the breakdown. Jessie beliefs and how things should show up in her life was run by fear not faith. She focused on those things in her life that were “comfortable” for her. She didn’t stretch all that much – and only to a point. There was a line she would not pass.
I had a conversation with someone the other day. She was struggling in some area of her business … like many of us of course. And what I kept hearing was the one word that quite frankly I think should be taken out of the English language, and that is the word “because.”
“I can’t do this because …”
“I can’t move forward because …”
“I can’t make it to networking meetings because …”
“I can’t buy that program because … “
“I can’t travel because …”
Now don’t get me wrong. I’m sure there must be some times when that word is valid to use — although I can’t think of any at the moment. But I think that we generally use it too often.
Why do we use the word “because” so often?
Have you ever looked at someone successful and wonder how they’re different than you? They seem to have everything they could ever want and you can’t seem to find your way out of a shallow hole with a flashlight, ladder and map?
The truth is that they likely didn’t get in the position they’re in overnight (although it may seem that way). In every success story, most people only see the end result but never question what it took for the person to reach the levels they were able to reach. You aren’t face to face with the work and effort it took to get them there, so it seems like it was effortless to them.
While most articles focus on what you should do to achieve success, this one focuses on the things that prevent a lot of people (maybe even you) from seeing their dreams come to pass. So, here are the seven things that will absolutely ensure that you don’t succeed, and what you can do to overcome them:
#1 Bad self-esteem or low self-worth
This one thing in and of itself will absolutely stop the greatness you contain from coming into reality. When you don’t believe that you’re good enough or smart enough to do something, it’s pretty hard to find the energy to determine whether you’re right or you’re wrong.
You need to realize that although you may have faults (who doesn’t?) you also have many, many strengths. Maybe you’re great at organizing things or perhaps you have wonderful compassion and empathy, making you a great people person.
Make a list of all the attributes you have that will assist you in your quest to reach your goals. Knowing your key strengths will help you use them when you need to and it will also remind you that you really do possess the capability to go to new levels.
#2 Negative thoughts or never moving beyond bad past experiences
We all have those moments in our past when we wish we had behaved or acted differently. We either did or did not do something we regret so we harbor bad thoughts about ourselves, often calling ourselves “stupid” or “foolish” or some other demeaning descriptor.
Or, maybe our distant past (such as when we were children) has taught us that bad things always happen and all we want to do is escape them. Either way, we feel like we’ve lost the fight even before it began.
Not only does holding on to the past serve no real purpose since you can’t go back and change it, it also stops you from moving forward. After all, how can you focus on today and tomorrow when you’re stuck in yesterday, right?
It’s time to let go of the chains that keep you bound to things you clearly can’t do anything about and let yourself move forward. If you screwed up, you screwed up. Just admit your mistake, learn from it and work towards making better decisions in the future.
If life wasn’t the greatest, then so be it. You can either continue to live in lack and disappointment or you can change it so you have all you’ve ever wanted…and more!
I truly believe that all experiences in life are meant to teach us something. Although you may wonder what do experiences like the passing away of a loved one, going into financial ruin, divorce, or any other life changing and challenging event has to teach us, I think if you truly look at the experience with the intention of seeing the lesson, it will appear.
A couple of weeks ago I viewed the Jason Russell and Oprah interview. You can watch parts of it here. As I usually do when listening in on interviews, I make every effort to dig deep into the message.
Jason Russell’s story and what happened to him and his family after the explosive release of Kony 2012 is one of those experiences we can all learn from. Although thankfully most of us can’t relate to having a nervous breakdown – although with having kids I’ve come close (still love you babies 😉 ) – most of us know the feeling of not being in control of something and our frantic need to gain it back. We can relate to being misunderstood and misjudged by others who do not know us for who we truly are.
I don’t know Jason Russell, his family, or his friends. I am not here to judge him or applaud him; although I do applaud his efforts to realizing a dream and the impact that realization has had on the world at large on putting a light on the atrocities of what is happening in Uganda.